sun in my eyes

by Xenia Koneva



looking at you
it’s like having the sun in your eyes
I used to think maybe it was
just a fake disguise
but now I know better
you’re above me, you’re beyond me
and I don’t understand you anymore
I took off my clothes and I faced the mirror
I wanted to break it, to shatter it
it just triggered so much fear
I can’t look at myself
the image from hell
I think you’re probably doing the same thing tonight
we both think we’re ugly, but only one of us is right
it’s not all in my head, you heard what I said
I loved you, now I don’t know you
it’s not all in my head, you’re so different, I can’t take it
where’s the familiar smell on your clothes?
it’s gone, but I guess that’s just how it goes
it took me so long before I had realized
where’s the next reason for me to feel criticized
because it seems like the reasons keep coming…
and coming, and coming
should just leave this all behind me
because I lost the smile that used to remind me
of the love in the arms that used to surround me
I guess, after all, you’re not so glad you found me
take my heart, break apart
the only thing left for me here
stop the love, because of
a little thought that occurred to you.
I close my eyes and I’m leaving greenwich park
the streets are still full, though it’s so long after dark
I’m walking side by side with thousands of people, it’s true
but I have been so many places, searching all of those faces
and there’s not a single one like you
I open my eyes and I see
nobody’s here but me
I can’t stop seeing your face
and the only thing left for me in this place
is the memory that dies
of the sun, of the sun
in my eyes

by Jane Leven (edited)